Battle of the Dum Diddys by R.L. Stine

Author:R.L. Stine
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: HarperCollins
Published: 2007-09-27T04:00:00+00:00

Chapter 13

DEATH OF A KNIGHT

Sherman led me to his room. He had a zebra skin bedspread. The bed was bigger than my room. I spotted a bubbling Jacuzzi next to a small lap pool.

A poster of a huge dollar bill hung on one wall. Another poster on his closet door was a giant photo of Donald Trump. Sherman’s desk glowed so brightly, I had to shield my eyes.

“It’s solid gold,” he said. “I just love the way gold feels—don’t you?”

I started across the room.

“Bernie, take off your shoes,” he said. “The floorboards are a rare ebony from Madagascar, taken from the tusks of an extinct root hog.”

I shook my head. “Sherman, why do you have all this stuff?”

He shrugged. “I want it to feel like home.”

We sat down in front of his computer. He had a flat-screen monitor the size of an SUV. He leaned over the keyboard and started to type in a bunch of numbers.

“That’s my access code,” he explained. The bright colors on the huge monitor made Sherman’s face glow blue and yellow. His eyes flashed with excitement.

“Here we are in Wungo Bungo,” he said. “It’s nighttime in the kingdom. See the two moons in the sky?”

I squinted at the screen. “Yeah. Two moons,” I said. “Cool.”

What was the big deal?

“The force of the two warring moons has divided the kingdom,” Sherman said. “The war has lasted three milagoniums.”

“Is that long?” I asked.

He nodded. He slid his mouse around. The colors rolled across his face. A low wooden building came into view. I could see black horses inside. I could hear them neighing softly.

“This is the stable of Wuu-Wuu,” Sherman said.

“Wow, wow,” I whispered.

He slid the mouse, and we moved closer to the stable. “The Knighty Knight Knights keep their horses here.”

I pointed. “Who’s that guy with the bucket?”

“He’s Pippy the Pitiful. He’s a Knighty Not Knight. He doesn’t have enough weapon points to be a knight. That’s why he’s watering the horses.”

“How does he get weapon points?” I asked.

“First he has to earn costume points,” Sherman said. He moved the mouse. “See? He has chest armor, but he isn’t wearing any pants.”

We moved closer. Sherman was right. I could see the dude’s naked butt.

“First costume points, then weapon points, then power points,” Sherman explained. “He gets paid two bubus for watering the horses. In two weeks, he’ll have enough bubus to buy pants.”

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